Part XI
Journal of Harassment Activities by OWCP and the U.S. Postal Service Subsequent to Fraud Complaint Letter to Washington
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And I holler why, and I holler why And I holler why, the tortoise boy no mon ami! And I holler why, First he give me one, And I holler why, And I holler why, And I holler why, And I holler why, Danger Waters |
2-14-02 The Mystery of Julianne McKinney*
These are the notes surrounding the mystery of Julianne McKinney:
- She was a member of the NSA (National Security Agency), a dissident alumnus who was one of the pioneers of the cause.
- The Internet was replete with articles by her back in the mid 1990's (Her works are disappearing from the Web).
- She was an advocate who assisted in identifying victims and conducted studies of the victims.
- The last item I read of hers was way back, which was a strange, brief letter stating she was quitting the cause to take up something less taxing like knitting or something flippant like that. (It didn't sound like her).
- Then there was always something that troubled me about her articles: They frequently start out lucid, informative, insightful, well-measured in choice of words. Then they frequently spin wildly off the deep end, spanning into the outrageous, to the point that it sours you on the article in its entirety. Which is unfair, because the article is invariably half right. Are they tossing this junk in there so as discredit their totality? I just generally cut out the weird stuff and grab the truth of it.
Looking back in hindsight, with the benefit of what I know now, these last two points are troubling: Did they kill her? Are they taking her works and tossing wild spins into it, so as to bring discredit to them in their entirety? (Tossing out the baby with the bathwater?) Which would be too bad because there is truth in them, you need just cut away the true and leave the garbage behind.
To these questions, I don't know the answer. It nonetheless raises an intriguing question: Where is Julianne McKinney? To these suspicions, I would love to be wrong on this point, to discover that she has indeed taken up knitting over somewhere on Martha's Vineyard.
* Written 12-28-012-14-02
I shall be taking an early lunch and departing for the airport tomorrow and I think it would be useful to bring you up to date on the current circumstances over here in these waning hours. Ferocious ratcheting up of the physical abuse and assaults continues to be the order of the day. All that has been previously stated on this subject remains in effect with particular focus on the following:
- Continued savage multilevel targeting of the right arm, hand, ferocious stabbing assaults to mid-back / shoulder. The violent onslaught is enhanced by the interplay of overlay assaults such as thermal (freeze) assaults to the right hand with the hand all swollen red to the size of wearing a heavy glove; acoustic slammings to the right arm with violent yanking of arm muscles (sustained "charley horse" effect); laser, rifle-blow type assaults to the neck (c-spine) with back of neck peppered with abraded laser injuries. All in all it can be assumed that these assaults are of a reversible nature, though that cannot be stated with certainty.
- Then it appears they ran a bio assault to the lungs / respiratory tract with an abrupt and ferocious affliction of the respiratory system. It appears that they started with a bio and are repeatedly slamming it with multiple overlay assaults with caustic materials (chemical assaults) trying to see what effect can be achieved from the interplay. To the mix they have added an assortment of the nonlethal effectuations (running of the nose, involuntary cough mechanism, suffocation sessions, etc.) to create an overall distressing situation. In any event this one came out of left field and I assume it will subside over time, and there will be no residual damage.
2-19-02 Arrival in Europe
It is now my fourth day in Brussels and I think it would be useful to give a general summary of the current situation; much has changed and much has not. First there is the nonlethal assaults and injuries situation. I of course never anticipated that the nonlethal situation would improve much simply by a change in location. Anyone who knows anything about nonlethal targeting and the surveillance factor as alluded to by Alan Yu would be aware that physical proximity is not a necessary ingredient for their deployment. And anyone who has read of Michael Williams's story would know that Europe is no buffer from their abuses. While their capacity to assault at distance came as no surprise, I am somewhat taken aback at their willingness to violate the sovereignty of other nations in their deployment; I thought that somewhere there was a line that they would not cross. Even so, proximity must have some bearing as some of the assault effects have disappeared from the panoply. I am getting a general shake-out of what they can and can't do at distance. The chemical assaults and "area-denials" have ended as these require proximity. Then there is the general pleasant climate here so unlike the hordes of colluding monsters (my countrymen) that I left back in the United States. And I don't have all those colluding, troublemaking merchants to contend with over here: They are all honest, friendly, and trustworthy. The people here are so kind and positive-minded; such kindness I have not known for many years in my country, going back to 1994. Bless them for their humanity! Then there is the television, radio programming and general Media over here. What a breath of fresh air it is! There is no morbid preoccupation with health and afflictions (with the exception of a British radio program whose bias and prattle is so hopelessly American) that so pervades the United States. I guess if you were so immersed in it and it was incrementally introduced to you, you wouldn't see the difference until you left. By contrast, it is sad to see the terrible damage they have done to my country.
Now to the nonlethal, physical abuse situation with a random collection of dated notes:
- (2-17-02) Respiratory system continues taking a heavy hit from the respiratory assaults carried out concurrent with the "final fold-out". The throat has grown so hoarse that I can barely talk. Heavy targeting of the eyes has left the left eye moderately "crossed" with left eyelids pinched and curled back. It has a somewhat disfiguring effect and it remains unclear if the effect is reversible. (As it turned out the disfiguring effect on the eyes had reversed itself). Then the face has again grown inexplicably puffy and swollen.
It appears that they explored the relocation situation to see what advantages could be realized by it; They figured they would be clear to inflict apparent and disfiguring injuries safe in the knowledge I would be in the company of strangers and away from those who are familiar with my appearance. The throat has been injured to the point that there is a near incapacity to talk and again being away from those familiar with my old voice assisted in the infliction of this injury. Again it remains unclear if these injuries are reversible.- (2-18-02) Respiratory system and throat continues taking a heavy hit with near full take out of the voice / capacity to talk. The body overall continues taking heavy ordnance with continued ferocious sleep deprivation and daylong infliction of extreme levels of pain. I anticipate that if the current circumstances prevail, the cumulative effect will soon be taking its toll and the body will be going down.
- (2-19-02) Renewed assaults to the back of the neck, shoulders with skin disfigured by peppering injuries, abrasions and punctures. Renewed laser / puncture injuries to the legs (calves and ankles). While these injuries are minor and reversible, they have a temporarily disfiguring effect. Respiratory system continues taking a heavy hit. Again the body is taking heavy ordnance with assorted apparent injuries. My only wish and concern is that the body remains alive long enough to carry out the mission that was the purpose of this trip which is to deliver these asylum letters (three countries in all). Also, in the event I should be killed and found dead over here, it is my wish that I be buried over here, on free soil.
3-2-02
I have been in Brussels two weeks now and there is little to add but to say there are continuing circumstances of grave assaults whose main effects are sustained, ferocious sleep deprivation and daylong inflictions of extreme levels of pain. The ferocious slamming of the ears has left the ear canals swollen, fluid-filled with impedance in hearing. The continued deterioration from the respiratory assault is contributing to the overall state of the ears with contributory inflammation. Then they have resumed the nonlethal effect of gnarling of the muscles of the forehead and brow (involuntary, sustained contraction of facial muscles). Also they have resumed the torso-wide peppering of the skin with abraded, puncture-type injuries -means of induction unknown. Again most of the assaults described above, while distressing in their time, are of a reversible nature.It was my initial intention to get settled in Brussels and make every effort to gain asylum here. But I cannot waste my efforts and resources in settling without some reasonable assurance that I will be accepted here. I have read some unsettling articles here that Belgium's immigration policies are not so tolerant. As such I shall remain in a fluid state, and I have begun sending out letters to other countries that might be more receptive to my appeal; I stand tentatively in Brussels, ready to go anywhere, and I shall "play the field".
In the context of continuing physical abuse, and America's disregard for the sovereignty of other nations (they feel free to injure and deploy their weapons anywhere), it hardly matters where I go. Getting the word out has taken precedence over any notion that I will ever find a tolerable life anywhere: no state can restrain them. While it is too late to save myself, there is yet a chance to save future generations.
3-14-02
On the nonlethal front, there is little to add but to state there are continuing circumstances of sustained, grave sleep deprivation and daylong impositions of extreme levels of pain. Torture of the genitals, right arm, right leg, acoustic slammings of the chest and abdomen, thermals to the head, right arm, and feet, and continued slamming of the ears are the main areas of focus. The body is held awake with extreme levels of pain, most notably acoustics to the internal organs, vibrating them to extreme levels of pain, ferocious levels of pain inflicted to the right leg, right arm, and mid-back / shoulder. The body usually folds under near morning, then awakens shortly after. Then there are continuing daylong assaults bringing the body to a near full drop. Continued peppering of the lower legs with bleeding injuries, staining up my pajamas, and occasional bloodstains on pillow and sheets. The ears continue taking a heavy pounding; the ear canals have grown swollen with compromised hearing. Then there are renewed mutilating assaults to the skin. The assaults begin as painful stabbings to the skin of legs and torso. When ended it leaves scatterings of smallpox-type lesions across the skin. Again the skin injuries, though unpleasant in their time, are likely reversibles. Aside from the continuing nonlethal situation, everything has been transformed over here with an agreeable environment. All this takes place, in fact, to the refrains of the beautiful classical music that can be had over European radio.On to a miscellaneous sour note coming from across the Atlantic and received by me from my email: "Network Solutions" has again taken custody of this domain name. It looks like they waited for me to be out of the country (they were supposed to have this transfer completed by February 3 but delayed it to the end of the month. The registrar doing the takeover originally flagged itself as "VeriSign"; only later when it was too late for me did they show their true face as being none other than those scoundrels, "Network Solutions".) when they knew I would not have the resources to again engage them, to make their move. They had bought out the Canadian registrar where I attempted to shelter it, and merged all the domain names in their database, again taking control of pjproject.org. I shall do no more in my efforts to retain custody of this domain. If it is their intention to retake control of the domain, it it is their intention to knock this site off the Web again, let them! If this site disappears, the people will know what happened. In a short while, if I should I take asylum elsewhere, it will be a moot point.
I shall be departing for Paris tomorrow. In light of the continuing nonlethal situation and its likely outcome, I suppose the request for asylum is becoming more a rhetorical question, meaning there is really no need to wait around for an answer. Spreading the word has become the new priority, as it is likely too late to save myself; and it is time for the word to ring out in the land of liberté, égalité, fraternité.
3-28-02
It has been two weeks since my arrival in Paris and, as has been the case before, I write this entry under the duress of extreme bodily torture. The nonlethal abuse situation of course has not changed with the continuing theme of brutal sleep deprivation and daylong inflictions of extreme pain. They generally allow the body to sleep about three hours a night, then permit it grudgingly, taking care not to carry it to a full kill. Torture of the genitals and acoustics to the torso are the most notable effects at present though there are concurrent tortures of about fifteen areas of the body. I almost went down last night with uncontrolled palps of the heart but they backed off and let the body slump into unconsciousness. In addition they have resumed ferocious skin targeting with great states of irritation and bloody streaking of the skin, and have resumed impositions of ferocious gnarling contractions of facial muscles with facial discomfort and distortion. During the assaults there is concurrent torture of the genitals. Then they have ceased the imposed apparent injuries to the skin which left it peppered with lesions with subsequent mending. I guessed they reasoned it was somewhat stupid to be doing that at this particular time.On a miscellaneous note, I have noted in recent world news that the U.S. has drawn up a "nuclear hit list", naming China and Russia, among others, as countries to which they reserve the right to attack with nuclear weapons. It is stated in conjunction with this so-called "war on terrorism"?? (to which I don't see the connection). It looks like the saber-rattling Fascists are again showing their true face to the world community. Crazy talk!!
Now a few personal notes on my life in Paris, and Europe in general. I am staying at "Hôtel le Central" in the Latin Quarter sandwiched between "L'école Polytechnique" and a beautiful church "St. Étienne du Mont" whose bells serenade me each day with their somber dignity. It's an inexpensive place (32€ a night) with much charm. It is one of those older hotels that are fast disappearing in Paris that hasn't modernized. As such the "W.C." is out in the hall and there is no elevator (I stay on the top floor and I'm getting a good measure of exercise in the bargain). I have a shower though it is primitive by U.S. standards ( it is a race to get done before the hot water runs out; my first shower was quite a bracing experience that at least woke me up!) Now I got the hang of it; they use bottled liquid soap for "la douche", lather up, then turn on the water. For you Americans, "douche" is not some off-color, intimate ritual but simply a shower. (The first time I was offered a douche I blushed crimson and nearly took offense).
It is interesting that the one thing I most dearly missed was to have coffee in my room. I ultimately resolved this when I found a cute little single-cup coffee maker ( a clever item made in the Netherlands) that is said to be ideal for camping and travel. So now I have the luxury of Flemish coffee in Brussels, now French coffee in Paris, as much as I want (they use thimble-sized cups over here which does not accord well with my american instinct for "bigness"). Even so the coffee is rich here, not like the water we drink in the U.S. Like Brussels, I like to check out the supermarkets over here and my mouth drops at the interesting things they eat and how they package it. Exploring and sampling the breads alone could occupy a month. One of my favorites, which appears to be a French favorite, is "gâteaux de Bretagne" with french coffee, their coffee preference is a bit stronger than the Belgian brew.
Other favorite haunts of mine in this majestic city are the used book stores, antique shops, the "petits cinémas" where all manner of films from around the world can be seen. ( I went to see a Chinese film and was shocked by its graphic homosexual theme and frank nudity. Evidently I didn't check closely the gender of his "amant" -étudiant as opposed to étudiante, in the movie description and it was the last thing I expected from China, so permissive and Western was its outlook). I also saw "Sobibor" and am looking forward to a run of "Shoah".
Then I checked out a couple of the model car stores in Paris that they name with the lofty title "Le Modèlisme". It has a humorous ring in English as "...isms" in English most typically are used to describe lofty philosophical schools of thought and religious affiliations. I guess the French model car hobbyists take their model cars seriously as they have elevated it to a religion. Now that's what you call an enthusiast!
But I think I should break off here with the small talk. I have not come here to play the tourist, my business is more serious than that. And the adverse, grave circumstances of continued torture impede all efforts to find enjoyment here. Still I marvel at the body's capacity to adapt to the most adverse circumstances. And I marvel at the indomitability of the human spirit. We, human beings, can find grace in our most hellish of grief.
And it is time for grief. From this distance I can allow myself this emotion as a human being, to look back and reflect on all that has transpired. All the injury, the destruction, the loss of the house, the loss of my livelihood, the killing of my dear pets, the loss of all the beautiful things I have painstakingly collected over these past thirty years, the estrangement from all family and friends. It is time for grief. It is time to weep.
3-29-02 (Archive)
The situation with Belgium all makes sense to me now: My assessment was correct. During that flurry of blocked phone calls when they were extraordinarily riled, Belgium was indeed attempting to contact me and offer asylum.Then they vanished, the phone went dead, and they dropped off the screen. What happened? During the phone blocks they were buying time and ultimately succeeded in bribing Belgium away from offering assistance. Ramshackle Brussels is undergoing a complete "makeover". I encountered nothing but bullshit from these fools when I was there. That fool they sent to the garage sale was indeed from the Belgian Embassy, sent to play games and mislead me as to what it was that shut them up. I am ashamed of them.
(I believe the same occurred with the Dutch Embassy when they repeated that stunt, with some fool from their embassy calling the house, playing games. With Belgium it might be expected, but the Dutch have done a grave disservice to their forbears and their proud historical record of assistance to the persecuted.)
4-7-02 (Sunday)
I write this entry in the throes of brutal volleys of assaults being rained down on me, under the duress of unspeakable levels of pain, and as such it will be a feat of self-discipline to keep my words measured and objective. In fact, the ferocious upswing in the torture approaching a fatal outcome suggests that my asylum letters (France, China, Cuba) sent on 3-19-02 are having impact and they may indeed be going down. While it brings great suffering to me, if true, it is indeed great news to think that at last we will be taking an objective look at the situation and we will be sorting out what has and hasn't transpired here.But whether or not I survive this, and whether or not their day of reckoning is just around the corner, are matters that are irrelevant to me: I have taken on this project to satisfy, first and foremost, myself, to be true to my conscience, and it is an inevitable manifestation of who I am at my very core. It couldn't have been any other way. I am about love, nothing but love; and it is my love for humanity that impels me. This project is a token of my love. Whether it is read, I care not; whether they heed the alarm or find out later likewise cannot matter to me. I can go to my grave knowing that I did my part, to the best of my ability, to leave a lasting legacy of good in a world fraught with malice and destruction. Of course I am human; forgive me if I could not have done more.
4-14-02
The torture situation is reaching exponential levels, imposing a firestorm of hellish suffering. There is at present, and among other things, concurrent and simultaneous torture of the lungs / chest, abdomen, genitals ( to the point of violent spasm of genital tissues), hands, eyes, feet, shoulder / right arm, heart, skin, head, left temple, neck, sleep dep (bringing the body to a near full drop), ears. For good measure they are evoking assorted involuntary effects such as flooding the stomach with acids (digestive), contraction of muscles across the forehead, and running of the nose. They are working themselves into a frenzy and the body is taking a savage pounding. Again I am surprised that the body has the capacity to sustain such high levels of pain and yet remain alive. It appears that the asylum letters are having some measure of impact and they have worked themselves up into a ferocious frenzy in consequence. I can generally sense when they are having problems by the general consequences over here. And curiously I am taking some comfort from it to know they have taken a hit. In any event there is nothing to do but hang on and patiently wait for a response that I am so looking forward to. I only hope that I can bear the current firestorm and stay alive long enough to see the fruits of my labor that is just around the corner.I had stated previously that they had the capacity to deploy these weapons anywhere in the world and that comes as no surprise to anyone who has knowledge of nonlethal weapons. But I am mildly surprised at their willingness to trample beyond the borders of other nations, violating their sovereignty, to assault individuals on their soil. I may have underestimated their vileness. It is a breach of the rule of law and it is not what civilized nations do. But I guess nothing should surprise me anymore concerning these vile, unprincipled dogs. I just hope France has the wherewithal to push them out, back to their own soil where they can carry on with their barbarisms on their own people. Not here! They are not welcome here!
On another note, a new client has taken the hotel room next to mine where we share a common window ledge. Well I was startled to later find this ledge stocked with food items, slanting downward, perched up here on the top floor with sidewalk cafés beneath us. Some of the food items were gathered before my own window and impeded me from my habit of leaning out to get a view of the city. Well I frankly think it is reckless behavior as there is the risk of injuring someone below. The following morning it got stranger; I opened my drape and was dismayed to see before my window an open, nearly full bottle of wine standing there uncorked. Well it wasn't very French of them as the French drink their red wine at room temperature and there was no need to chill it out there. Whoever put it there reached far out the window and put it at the farthest end from themselves, at the corner where my own window opens. Well I just put it back on their side. Aside from the fact that it creates a reckless and needless hazard, there is of course, at least as it concerns me, the disinfo factor (discredit / character smear) to consider. They're a little late in coming but they may be packing up their show and bringing it over here. Well there may be nothing to this but I think it prudent to bring it up in consideration of their past practice of arranging assorted "props" about their victims. And I think I have already pretty much put this disinfo stuff to rest in prior entries so I shouldn't waste my time with their foolishness. The bottom line remains the same concerning any "post take out" disinfo stunts: Whether it is uttered by whoever or accomplished through props; if it emerges in a post take out setting and I ain't around to answer it, you can be pretty sure it's bullshit! And no, I don't drink. If indeed this is the case, then it can be assumed that the hotel staff has been compromised.*
*Postscript to this entry: A hotel employee came to my room this morning to ask if those items on the window ledge were mine. I answered, no, it was the client next door. He said a lady from the Plaza saw the bottle up there and complained that it was a hazard. I wholeheartedly agreed and the employee intends to speak with this person and ask them to remove these items from the ledge. The individual in this room has been curiously uncooperative with the request to remove these items. At first they ignored the request, then partially complied after being asked again, removing just the wine bottle and knife. The remaining items that were for the most part gathered before my window, I simply moved them over to their side.
4-26-02 (Friday)
My situation in Paris remains one of patient waiting. I am at a stage where I can only patiently wait for the recipients of these asylum letters to study and digest the full import of my story as it is laid out in the volumes that span this website. It is a difficult thing to do with the continuing volleys of assaults being rained down on me with attendant extreme levels of bodily pain. But there is nothing can be done at present but wait. It was around the eighteenth of April that they began to back away from the extreme conditions of sleep deprivation and the body, for the first time in months, was able to lapse into unconscious states of sleep. It was an extraordinary luxury that we all of us take for granted. I don't know the reason for the reversal on this, though I suppose it wouldn't look too good for them, for me to lapse into a state of cumulative sleep lasting three days in the setting of a political asylum medical exam. They did have the foresight to cease the skin injuries that peppered my body. They were of a minor nature and have basically mended up. In any event, it is only speculation on my part. To cover other targetings worth mentioning, they went back to targeting the eyes whose effects have temporary disfiguring consequences; the assaults pinch / curl the eyelids as well as cause the eyes to be moderately "crossed" and wandering. Again the effect is reversible, righting itself when the assault ends. Then there were renewed threats to take out the vision. Their threats are extravagant exaggerations of the reality of the situation, intended to terrorize, and they are frankly growing tiresome to me. Then there was a mottled burn across the left side of the forehead from thermal assaults to the head which appears to have mended.I don't much care to check my email as I hear nothing but trouble and hate from back in the United States. Compared to the genuineness I hear and see in French programming, newspapers, etc., the healthy trustworthy foods, and the kindness I encounter in conversations with the French people, opening my email program is like getting hit in the face with a bad wind. Just today I received an unpleasant, hostile message from one of my sisters who agreed to "hold down the fort" and take care of affairs back in the States. The message rambled on with hostile words, something to the effect that she was being "used", went on with false statements to the effect that she was never "thanked" which surely was not the case. I don't know what messages she's receiving over there, but the ones I send are always polite. In addition to copious "thank you's" she was told she could keep the apartment refund money and the written check I left them to pass around to those who helped. In any event she announced in the letter that she was not going to renew the rental of my storage locker where my remaining property is stored when it expires in a few days at the end of this month, with the money that was left her. Again it rambled on to the effect that she was being "used" and wasn't appreciated (Extraordinary language to describe one family member doing a favor for another as it seems to ignore the concept of love). Well I am not going to quarrel with them, they threw in their lot with the Fascists a long time ago, thinking they backed the right horse.
I asked her again if she would renew the rental, reminding her of the serious consequences if she didn't, but I am nonetheless going to attempt to salvage the situation by sending off a letter and check from Paris to the storage place back in Michigan and hope it's received in the next few days. If not, it appears that the last of my property will be going down. I am deeply saddened by the hatred and strife that has engulfed my family. But in all fairness I should point out that I check my email infrequently, I don't know when this was sent, and she might not have known her backing away from this request would put me in such a bind. They are essentially good, simple people caught up in circumstances they don't understand.
Getting back to the genuineness I find here in France and the sharp contrast with what I experienced back in the States, I can assess it as such: I have been trifled with for so long that it takes time to realize that it's OK now, I can drop the almost instinctive guardedness, everything is genuine here, including the people; my trust is being restored. Being trifled with everywhere you turn nearly wears you down, and it appears to be one of their methods and strategies, in making the victim guarded and braced for trouble in all his interactions. It's basically a psychological tactic intended to induce paranoia and anxiety in the victim. They begin to anticipate annoyances and trouble in all of their encounters. From here, in contrast, where they are unable to continue the tactic, I am able to clearly assess it and assess the motives behind it. So while the volleys of assaults continue, my trust and relaxed approach to people is returning, and psychic mending is taking place. It is restoring my faith in the fundamental goodness of people.
So basically it's a method where they conference with all of the individuals with whom the victim interacts and set up assorted troublesome situations and harassment scenarios with the effect that the victim finds himself in a state of siege everywhere he turns. They can't run that one here in France and everything unfolds here without incident. Very nice. No individual player participating in the harassment is aware that he is part of a larger campaign intended to break the victim down. Each plays his part in isolation with no clue as to the purpose of their conduct. Curiously they all permit themselves to be led about by the nose like mindless donkeys, though I suppose threats or inducements will insure their cooperation. It's basically a psychological tactic like the tactic of isolating the victim. The pattern of isolating the victim goes way back to the postal period with the isolated seating situation where I was routinely assigned a seat in the aisle that was far distant from my coworkers. While I noted it as "isolated seating harassment", it was in reality the implementation of a psychological tactic that would carry thru, throughout the campaign.
I have enjoyed the broad array of available books here in France, though it has obliged me to go back to the practice of reading in French, and I have taken particular interest in those whose lives have been adversely affected by Fascism, from Ann Frank who was exterminated by the Nazis, to Thomas Mann (Être écrivain allemand à notre époque) who was obliged to flee Nazi Germany. It is always reassuring to know that there were those who kept their souls in a world engulfed by darkness and evil. It restores your faith in the fundamental goodness of man. There are parallels between what is happening in the U.S. and Nazism, and while admittedly the magnitude and numbers of those victimized do not compare, the methods and vile nature of the crimes closely parallel each other. It is even known that they studied and used the Nazi dossiers as blueprints for their methodology.
Why do victims of Fascism, even the most humble and common of them, instinctively reach for Art for form of expression? You found it in the death camps of Auschwitz, with their chamber music and the poignant poetry they left behind. I found it in my reading of the recent French release of "Journal d'Ann Frank" where she thirsts for books, eagerly waits for their delivery to her hiding place, and expresses such noble sentiments so eloquently, a thirteen year old no less, in her entries that she left behind, before she was brutally exterminated. A Dutch critic, when he read her work, was overcome with grief and lamented her death, as the world had lost an artist.
It is because, in a world gone mad with hate and inhumanity, they are searching for reaffirmation in the fundamental goodness of man. Encircled by barbarism and darkness, they remain stubbornly human and they need to have echoed back to them, what endures in their hearts.
5-4-02
It was on 4-30-02 that I moved to a new hotel (Hôtel Jarry) on the right bank. It was not a good idea to remain at the compromised one as their conduct was getting out of hand. True to form, the hotel I left set in motion their old "isolation tactic" and they had pretty much vacated the entire top floor where my room was located. It was a strange experience to navigate up the stairs through all the bustle and animated voices and sounds emanating from the rooms, then be greeted by the eerie, utter silence of the top floor where my room was. In any event, I got tired of the foolishness and left.Now a brief update on the nonlethal assaults situation: There was a brief chop-up on what is a general respite in the sleep deprivation situation; first running a ragged half-night of torture (waking the body in the middle of the night and pounding on it), then settling in for permitting about six hours of sleep. While not the usual eight hours I take, it's still basically a respite and a vast luxury to me. It seems they just can't bear to let that one go and they're getting quite petulant about it.
Then they have resumed the brutal heatings of the head. The assaults have the effect of making the skin of the face reddened and coarse (the ears particularly chafed) with swelling and premature aging of the skin. It's unknown if the subsequent state of injury reverses itself over time. Again they have a high level of interest in injuring the appearance of their victims. Again they make the mistake of thinking other people are as shallow as they are, to think I identify myself by my appearance. That's not how I define my worth. And of course it has nothing to do with who I am.
Now a correction to the journals and I wonder it's taken me this long to figure it out. I refer here and there to their setting off odors for discrediting purposes. While in some instances it is the case like the smoke odor one, etc., but in many instances the odors are nonlethally evoked, targeting the olfactory part of the central nervous system. Like alterations in the sense of taste, where they can effectively flatten all sense of taste (Novocain effect), odors are frequently nonlethally evoked.
Some final words on the overall situation: I believe they are coming to the regrettable realization that they are going to have to run a full kill-off to get this website off the Web. Their only problem is how to plausibly cover it up.
5-14-02
I would like to take a moment to expand on Fascism, for this website has traced a path well beyond the particulars of my personal story of germinal events with my employment at the U.S. Postal Service unfolding to a general recognition of what appears to be a frank state of Fascism in our country, to spell out just what defines a fascist state, and how it stands apart from all other forms of government as an abomination to all of humanity. While I refer to it as a frank state of Fascism it is not so frank in that it operates out of the public eye, as a covert underbelly that guides and directs all that transpires in the United States now reaching into the world, even down to the illusion that we are a democracy with free choices (see Gary Hart episode, Michael Williams). It started out with abusive Intelligence Agencies operating under a cloak of secrecy who, drunk with power and wicked intentions, "got too big for their britches". Our fatal error was not cracking down on those who participated in the MKULTRA abuses when it finally came to light. Weak-willed, irresolute, our legislators were more inclined to see it as a national embarrassment rather than a threat to our democratic principles, and were all too willing to sweep it under the carpet, shrug and walk away. It was a grave error that came back to haunt them, engulfing them and dragging them into its fold. You can understand it all with MKULTRA; They developed a system of methods and tactics, a handbook if you will, for subverting people through threats, blackmail, intimidation, and incentives if the stick approach didn't work dragging them into the fold. They just plugged the methods in and played them, at every level from the individual to entire states, over and over, and they grew and grew and grew; to the point that these lawless thugs have effectively taken over this entire country! And like all fascists, who are at threat so long as liberty exists anywhere, now they got their eyes on the world.So they want to impose "The New Order", excuse me that's Hitler's term it's been modernized in these expansive new days to a handy new slogan "The New World Order" (they are fond of buzzwords and handy little inside jokes that only they understand such as the use of "K" in MK-ULTRA), which is to say global fascism with the U.S. being the head of the beast, accomplished first through charming Russia out of the picture (how stupid can they be I thought they would have learned something from their experience with that non-aggression treaty with Nazi Germany. They even used a Hollywood actor for that one and it may have been the first time his talents were worthy of an Academy Award.), re-arming to which the world is curiously indifferent, and spreading its economic tentacles incrementally bringing the world to its knees through "globalization".
But what is Fascism? We toss the term around so loosely these days to any and all whose conduct is in some way restrictive and annoy us in one way or another to the point that we are losing sight of its true meaning. I will define it here in its truest sense and return to it the horrible impact it merits: Fascism differs from all other forms of government in that its intent is to harm humanity, harm and destroy the human spirit, with a pathological hatred for the Good. It hates truth, free thinking, books, art, free speech, free will, liberty, burns books, promotes lies, hates honor, beauty, hates morality and God, and in short operates with the sole intention of doing harm. No other form of government on earth operates with intentional malevolence. Whatever our political differences between democracy, socialism, communism, authoritarian regimes, etc., I think we can all agree that however misguided we perceive our adversaries to be, we are all working for the common goal of bettering humanity. Sure we might think that our adversaries approach is wrong, there are unreasonable restrictions in their system, or their practical application falls flat or misses the ideal, but we must keep in mind that unlike Fascism, they operate with benevolent intentions! That makes Fascism a pariah and a scourge of the earth. The scourge of Fascism makes unlikely bedfellows; It brought together Roosevelt and Stalin in the common purpose of stamping out that blight on the human landscape which was Nazi Germany.
And that's what is happening in the United States. They are textbook, garden-variety fascists with virtually all of the traits that define the term "Fascism", and you have to go back to MKULTRA whose agenda was "mind control" and whose very essence is Fascism distilled to its core and which continues to this day, to understand what they are all about; a program whose goal was to stamp out liberty of the human mind, free will, free thinking, whose goal is destruction and subjugation of the human spirit, which I might add is a foolhardy goal that will never succeed. It is an unimaginable wickedness that exudes nothing but contempt for the beauty of this miracle we call the soul and human spirit.
I called them garden-variety fascists whose ideology is as "old as the hills", there is nothing new here, its an aberration that crops up at times through the centuries and each time we humans have rallied our forces and stamped them off the face of the earth; Thank God! But they are textbook fascists with a difference whose methods are unprecedented and an extreme danger to the world. First we must look at the covert nature of their insidious expansionism, slithering stealthily through the grass like a snake unseen, unfolding its tentacles, encircling, in its quest to engulf the world, or like a lethal odorless gas, ever spreading and poisoning the human landscape. You need only think of "globalization" with the U.S. at the helm, and its economic entanglements and insinuation into other countries to recognize the danger there. They are hiding behind the good names of their predecessors whose intentions were benign, stealing their good reputations, masquerading behind the good name that our country still enjoys to a relative degree throughout the world. They are false-faced pretenders, impostors. Don't be fooled as their word is worth dirt for they will be soon to stab you in the back when their position is sufficiently consolidated. Ask Chamberlain about peace in our time, ask the Russians about the non-aggression treaty they signed with the Nazis.
In addition to the insidious, incremental, covert nature of this brand of Fascism that makes it unique and unprecedented, there is the matter of the technologies they are using that seem to fit and blend seamlessly with this covert approach, almost made to order. These weapons are the quintessence of the covert approach, stealthily lurking in the wind, invisible to the eye, it requires extraordinary counter-technology to detect and defend against them. If ever there was an evil use of Science, this is it. These weapons can be clandestinely deployed anywhere in the world with pinpoint satellite technology where they are free to injure and kill at will, for it is a misnomer to call these weapons solely nonlethal. I think the world is behind in addressing nonlethals and their potential for misuse and I think they should start drafting international treaties defining their acceptable use, taking countermeasures to defend against them, and provide a forum where complaints of their misuse can be fully investigated. So what we have here is garden-variety Fascism with a virulent, unprecedented twist that makes it an extreme danger to the world and mankind.
Fascism invariably fails and if they've read their history they would know that. It appears they do know this frustrating fact so maybe they think they'll have better luck with the "sneak approach". But they will still fail as Fascism is the epitome of folly. Folly!, the diametrical opposite of what we call wisdom. And they are light-years from wisdom, wallowing in an abyss of darkness and unreason. It is too unnatural to the order of the human race that instinctively aspires to the good, to joy and freedom, to stand. Their must be a benevolent force to their life; it can't be stamped out. The wise man knows you can't stamp out truth, you can't kill words, ideas, human thought, beauty, Art; as they are immortal abstractions. Fascists will burn the books, kill the writers, artists, free thinkers, dissidents, political opponents, etc., but their works are eternal abstractions that can't be killed with bullets. There were some Germans in Nazi Germany who remembered by heart some of the works of their countryman, Thomas Mann. So banished from Germany, his books burned, they still held in their hearts his eternal, indestructible words. Folly! It is folly to reduce the world to nothing more than physical matter to negate all that is abstract and spiritual to think that works of art and their ideas can be reduced to nothing more than the physical matter of a book that can be extinguished by burning!
It won't succeed if you understand some of the abiding philosophical characteristics of "Governance". All government is made up of two components: governors and the governed and it requires the mutual consent of both parties or it won't work. All governors, whatever their form, serve at the pleasure of the people and if the people decide they don't want them anymore, they are dismissed. It is like two amicable guests at a party who choose to keep company with each other. When the host (the people) decide that the guest (the governors) is no longer welcome, he is invariably "dismissed". He can leave amicably on his own when shown the door or if he becomes obstreperous and an unruly guest, the request to leave needs to be rephrased more forcefully, and he is unceremoniously tossed out the door. I think that is what is called "revolution" when force must be used to expel an unwelcome guest, when one of the parties decided to break the mutual agreement between governor and the governed. Somoza was shown the door, Marcos was shown the door, Papa Doc was shown the door, as was Batista, Chouchesku, Pinochet, Chiang Kai Check, and the list goes on. The people decided they didn't want them anymore and they were dismissed. Of course some of them were a bit ungracious about the whole matter and they haven't learned much from history, but the inevitable prevails. It will happen again this time as the arrangement is too unnatural to the human spirit to endure, what is human will reclaim its equilibrium, though I fear this particular guest will be a bloody "hand-full". The lesson is that Fascism will never enjoy enduring governance as it takes the position of complete contempt, hate and the very destruction of that which it governs. Governance with an absurdly impossible premise.
This website that had its genesis with my experiences at the post office has evolved to these direst of matters. It is today a warning to the world and an appeal to my countrymen to resist the fascist trend that is destroying the United States. In my final days in the U.S. I saw what is going on there and it does not bode well. Fervent nationalism is taking hold everywhere and the people are degenerating into a conscienceless, unreasonable mob. Our programming is heavily weighted to militarism extolling the virtues of military life, even our documentaries on educational TV dwell on military subjects. Then they started in with antagonistic programs and news vilifying our old adversaries, Russia, China, etc. It was though they were trying to revive the cold war and prepare the people for conflict. I thought the cold war was over, thank God, and there is nothing going on in this world to explain this about face in their attitude. But there is something going on in this world to explain it and you'll find it in this website. This website is a warning to the world. You will heed my words now, or you will heed them later. But you will heed them.
5-14-02
I suppose it would be useful to bring you up to date on the torture situation. I don't like dwelling on these ugly details and repeating myself, but for the record of posterity these things must be known in all their unvarnished detail. I cannot overstress the extraordinarily brutal effect of concurrently torturing multiple parts of the body, all simultaneously, creating a veritable cauldron, soup, of extreme levels of stress and suffering. I will cite here a list of targeted areas in a typical session enduring for hours using this approach: Skin, legs, ears, arm, back, genitals, eyes, head, face, mouth, running of nose, right hand, neck, chest, abdomen, pelvis, feet. And that's just the ones I recall off hand, there are other concurrents and autonomic effects not cited. Frequently the assaults are vicious retaliations for actions on my part they don't like. Of course they are over here trailing me and it was just last Wednesday that I stopped at the Cuban embassy to explore the possibility of asylum in Cuba, only to discover they were closed the next couple of days for the holidays. Well they responded with a ferocious outburst running the concurrent onslaught throughout the day. And broke with the respite in the sleep deprivation, slamming the body all night, riding the brutality throughout the night with the effect that I got about two hours of ragged sleep that night. Of course they continue slamming the body when its unconscious but it can't take anymore and it goes under. But it was the introduction of extreme, cramping torture of the legs and feet subsequent to the embassy visit, with a forcible yanking state of contraction to feet and calf muscles to levels of extreme agony that has been the most difficult to endure. Then to this they started rerunning minor injuries to the left ankle. It starts with flashes of poking sharp pains to the ankle like a series of fierce needle stabs leaving in its wake a peppering of abraded, burn-type injuries which in the end while painful is of a minor nature. It is basically a display of power and a demonstration of their capacity to inflict apparent injury. While the assault levels are escalating, thus far the body has not succumbed.On the disinfo subject, I would like to cite for you how deeply ingrained is their calculated tactic of besmirching the character of their victims with false info, and I can cite their earliest attempt at this tactic which goes back to the very start of this entire story. In fact it happened days before even the harassment at the post office began and it was puzzling to me at the time in that I knew nothing of their methods and tactics back then, or what was about to come. You can recall it all started with letters to our Department of Labor concerning complaints of fraudulent and criminal conduct by officials in the DOL. Rather than reply to the charges I instead began receiving angry letters from the DOL refusing payment for billings (concerning my job injury), that they characterized as "double-billings" that I never sent them! They began to falsely fabricate records of "double-billings" on my part for medical expenses, down to sending me denial letters to complete the whole false process. I have never sent the same bill twice and it was a complete fiction! Back then at the start knowing nothing at all about their methods and tactics and having no clue as to what was to come, it was all a big mystery to me what they were doing. Now of course in hindsight it is crystal clear.
Then on another point concerning the disinfo theme, there are intimations of their returning to the old practice of initiating false communications and affixing my signature to them. Again if it's not alluded to in the site or is in conflict with what is stated here, it's likely false. The email situation is especially vulnerable. With my being so far from the U.S. at present, I have no way of cross-checking what they're getting over there.
Then a final note on the Cuba situation. It was on 5-10-02 that I visited the embassy and they set an appointment scheduled for tomorrow. Well it was on the 12th and 13th of this week that I started hearing news reports over here of a "goodwill" visit to the island by former president, Jimmy Carter. By the following day there was even talk of lifting the U.S. embargo. It was all quite "touchy-feely". They're about as false-faced as they come as it was just a couple weeks ago they were verbally lambasting the island and I hope Cuba has the sense to "beware of strangers bearing gifts" and does not take this pretty poison! It could be just an unpropitious coincidence (which I doubt) but coincidence or not it's an event I do not welcome at this particular time.
5-19-02
It was a few days ago that I began dealing with the annoying email communications I continue receiving from colluders and their sympathizers back in the States by simply disposing of them unread. In this climate over here where the people are genuine and unspoiled, it is an aggravation I don't need to endure anymore, and at least in this respect it has provided some measure of peace of mind.I had previously given a somewhat detailed description of their Internet suppression tactics that they have recently begun to deploy on "hot potato" websites and I think it would be useful to add to this list the most recent one alluded to in this site which is their tactic of submitting sites to the engines, devoid of all relevant content so as to render them unfindable in keyword searches. It was what they were doing with this site and was the main reason from keeping me from access to website statistics where I would be able to discern what they were doing. It's an extraordinarily effective method which will cause traffic to a site to come to a near grinding halt. So basically they copy the site, strip the homepage of all content and links, except the title and a small scrap of irrelevant content, then submit it to the engines where they hit and index an essentially dead page, overwriting the previous submission. Of course they must get the page on your server before the scheme and during the process they take the precaution of severing the site owner's Internet access where he can't view what is going on. It's what they did with me back in August when they knocked me off for a time and was followed by a flood of emails from engines thanking me for a submission I never initiated. In any event, it's a clever one and I would like to warn other "hot potato" sites to be on guard with this one. If your traffic suddenly comes to a grinding halt, that's probably what they did and you will best discern this by studying your keywords listed in your website statistics. All of the usual ones will vanish.
I am getting a picture of the situation over here that I couldn't see in the States. It appears they were sealing off my escape options before I even got here. Holland and Belgium fell before I even set foot in Europe, and it appears France is going down too. With all their talk of liberty I think they are more enamored with the American dollar these days. It's the same methods they plug and play from the individual to the grandiose which consistently works time after time, and it harkens back to that nefarious arrangement they made with Switzerland in taking one of their victims they dumped over there and being hush about it, but it's the reverse; with one it was "take this one", with the other it was "don't let'em in". Obviously you need a place to live, it is one of the conditions for the continuance of life, it's not optional, and it appears they are sealing this avenue off. I am getting insights and looking back in hindsight on the Belgium and Holland episodes where there was first their enormous agitation, then suddenly all went dead, and they were at peace again. While I was correct that they defused close calls I was inaccurate in assessing that it was accomplished through trickery and disinfo: These countries were directly compromised and they knowingly turned a blind eye to the situation. Shame to both of them! With Belgium it might be expected, but with Holland they have disgraced the good names of their forbearers. Both countries topped off their duplicity with that little niggle where they had employees from their embassies engage in those end taunts, one the phone call, the other the visit, whose intent appears to have been to mislead me as to how the chase-off occurred, get erroneous info posted on the site, and to deflect attention and guilt away from themselves. These two close calls, once successfully defused, were followed by the reprisal of killing one of my cats. Moocher went down after Holland, Max went down after Belgium. I hope they are proud of themselves!
And with Cuba things don't look any better with Carter running over there a couple of days after my embassy visit dangling that carrot, an end to the embargo. I am beginning to feel like one of those Jews, adrift at sea, with no friendly port in sight. Adrift at sea, the body taking a savage nonlethal pummeling, things don't look too good, though I haven't finished playing out my final options.
Well, if I can't save myself I will at least try to save my baby which is this site. It is after all what it's all about; a single-minded mission to get this site off the Web. There is likely not a soul in the U.S. who will dare to post this site and stand by it, so that is not an option I can depend on. My only hope in this respect is that someone outside the U.S. will take it under their wing and see that it continues. There is another possibility that I would much welcome and which would have my full consent, to see someday this website published in the form of a book. Yet while it shines in places, much of it is too rough to meet my standards of what could be called "book quality", it was never written with that aim, though I believe with a little work something could be done with it.
5-22-02
It is difficult to continue the journal in these circumstances of extreme and brutal torture, but I have over time developed the knack for grace under fire which is to retain composure and measured objectivity during these trying times. There is yet more to be said I must be up to the challenge.First I would like to expand here the "Suggested Reading" list that is posted on this site and I suppose that this collection of books could be categorized as the works of those whose lives have been adversely affected by Fascism and again the parallels with Nazi Germany and the current situation in the U.S. comes to mind. Some of these titles are in French (in English bookshops I never knew they existed) and you will need to do a little digging to see if these books are available in English:
- "Soul of the Age, Selected Letters of Hermann Hesse, 1891-1962"
Translated by Mark Harman
Publisher: Farrar, Straus, and Giroux (1991)- "Diary of Anne Frank"
Anne Frank- "Être écrivain allemand à notre époque" (Gallimard)
"To Be a German Writer in Our Time"
Thomas Mann- "Correspondance, Hermann Hesse-Thomas Mann" (José Corti)
"Letters, Hermann Hesse-Thomas Mann"- "Appels aux Allemands" (L'Herne)
"Appeal to the Germans"
Thomas Mann- "Journal 1918-1921, 1933-1939" (Gallimard 1985)
Thomas Mann- "Journal 1940-1955" (Gallimard 2000)
Thomas MannNow I would like to expand on the cover method they run in a localized way that I alluded to as the "copy-cat effect" as it may not yet be clear. Whenever a victim is besieged, they seek to make the events occurring to him pass as plausible by generating identical or similar events about him. This is usually run locally in his environs and around those who may have found the site or his story and are weighing its credibility. It's basically the old "oh yes I got that too" or "oh ya that's happening here too", so it must be normal. So when they start destroying his trees, warping them flat, a concurrent epidemic of this effect is run in the neighborhood. When his phone goes down and he loses Internet access, it likewise happens to viewers of the site weighing its credibility. Ants tearing up the concrete (though in this case the concurrents are a benign one)? You guessed it, they got'em too. So basically these individuals become themselves unwitting targets. And so on and so forth. It is interesting that they never pause to wonder if it squares with what is the norms of the past, if it's the norm in its own right, but instead use events in the website as their yardstick! It's a faulty line of reasoning: You should always use the consistent norms of the past to measure the plausibility of events and not the sporadic outbursts of the present. After a time this method gets uncanny with each besiegement of the victim being reflected back to him in his locale. In any event you should add this one to the general list of methods and tactics for future reference as it's a fairly effective method and I hope this entry better clarifies it.
Now to the nonlethal situation: Again it's a basic continuation of the same. At times during the concurrent onslaught, some effects stand out such as the current heavy targeting of the neck with inflictions of brutal levels of pain. And the ear assaults have grown particularly malicious whose effect is akin to having a screwdriver jammed in the ear canals and twisted about. Again while these assaults cause swelling of the canals, affect on hearing over time, it appears to be a reversible when ceased and to my knowledge it causes no permanent injury. They are continuing the pattern of allowing sleep to occur (a six hour regimen) but subjecting the body to extreme levels of pain daylong during its conscious hours. While I don't know, I can only surmise they are anticipating possible medical exam and don't want this effect to be too apparent at that time. I can't say, but I can say the body is thirstily gulping up this extreme deficit of sleep. Under the current brutal circumstances where it appears they are proceeding to torture the body to death, I do not believe I shall be alive much longer. With this inevitability, my only thought at present is to take whatever measures I can to insure the continuance of the website. For that is, after all, what it's all about; a single-minded effort to get this thing off the Web (To those who entertain the notion that this website is foolishness I would suggest you post it and stand by it ; and see what happens. You'll be getting a knock on your door in more ways than one). I will state here for the record that I do relinquish the domain name that is the identity of this site to any who choose to repost it posthumously though of course it's not a major consideration or prerequisite. In any event should this website outlive me, then they would have failed in the end after all which would be a comfort to me. In the end I would like to make a general appeal to my countrymen, not to collude but fight back, and to the world community in general to keep this website and story alive whatever the consequences. To my countrymen, I am one of you. Remember what we Americans are all about: Freedom, and don't ever forget it. Hold to your convictions, cherish your belief in liberty and listen to your better side, your nobler side, which is the Good! So you might ask, what can we do? Well, we have the covert fascist takeover; Why not "The Plausibly-Deniable Covert Revolution"? Use their methods as the blueprint, and turn them right back at them, covert for covert. --You'll need a name of course, they all do, why not "The White Rose Society" or perhaps one of our patriots from colonial times when this country was founded? --Of course there will be flyers and graffiti. --Private acts of sabotage and slowdown would help, each acting alone, starting at work, plausibly deniable of course, damage the beasts economy. --Sabotage, damage to public places, avoid hurting people, there is some honor among us. --We don't have nonlethals but a few of those nostalgic methods from MK-ULTRA will do: Chemical and biological assaults. --Boycotts aren't too helpful because it's all bought up into fascist monoliths. But still, try to frequent the few independent stores left. --Militias can do their part for more daring things. This is their moment to shine.
Of course our president will be quite beside himself, overwrought, prostrate across his fainting-couch with a compress on his head. Why what revolution Mr. president? Why you must be deluded? If it's make-believe fascism then it must be make-believe revolution too! I think you get the general idea; use their methods as the blueprint. You can't get out, so do your patriotic duty and take the beast down from within. It's time for the Second American Revolution!*
While these are not the best of conditions to be playing the tourist over here in Europe I shall always be positive, develop and grow to my last breath, always feeding my insatiable, childlike curiosity. So with this mindset here are some personal comments: I pass the time here in Paris reading the fine books that are available here and listening to the fine music. There was an opera broadcast out of Copenhagen across Europe whose subject was "Julius Caesar-Cleopatra" the other night that was exquisite. And I have made great strides in relearning my French that has gone fallow over the years. Not because I think I'll be staying here, but simply because I want to. And of course I take my daily walks through Paris checking out the interesting cultural customs of the French many of which would be interesting, baffling, charming, and some shocking to Americans. And with gardening and nature in my blood, I can't resist checking out the interesting plant and animal life in France (even the weeds and dirt draw my attention) quite different from ours, right down to their dogs and pets, quite an interesting array of species we don't much see in the States. Their dogs and even the birds over here are a good deal more domesticated (less wild) than ours; their pet dogs are quite sweet, gentle, intelligent, and well-mannered like little people (if the old maxim that "a dog is a reflection of his master" holds true than the Europeans are a far different species from us indeed!), and even the sparrows here will eat out of your hand! The bumble-bees here are different than ours with vivid amber colorations and they are quite fond of the rose bushes. They are a shy lot and take off if you watch them too long. One could write an entire book on the interesting cultural differences between Americans and the French and Europeans in general but I will leave it at these few random comments.
* I believe they have already anticipated such an eventuality as what is described above and fear it, which brought forth this odd game show aired on U.S. TV called Weakest Link. It is a piece of propaganda and manipulation intended to encourage and praise "ratting" on saboteurs.
5-22-02
Concerning the nonlethal abuses that are currently taking place in the U.S., I could sum it up with this basic assessment. The U.S. military is testing its technologies on a targeted segment of the civilian populace. In the U.S., the military complex counts for everything, it is their highest priority, and the people are just fodder to be sacrificed, chewed up and spit out in their ruthless quest for military superiority and aggrandizement. They will get the strategic advantage with these weapons by one means or another, including nonconsensual testing. They are taking notes, then proceeding to torture these citizens to death (see Constantine). Nuremberg codes notwithstanding, you are not going to get volunteers for this one. In our history it is not unprecedented and it is interesting to note who they target which again has echoes of Nazism:The Tuskegee syphilis experiments in Alabama on black citizens.
The Radiation testing experiments (see Columbia Journalism Review in "Documents").
Both these programs resulted in the killing of U.S. citizens and even when they came to light, no punitive actions were taken.
6-1-02
I would like to expand on this phenomena alluded to where all the businesses in the U.S. are being bought up and merged together into these formidable monoliths, and which are controlled by and beholden to the fascist forces which govern the United States. While it is of course a harmful situation for Americans we should stop to consider its detrimental worldwide impact in view of this ever expanding phenomena known as "economic globalization" with the U.S. at the helm. In conferring this trust in the U.S. we make a few assumptions that today are false: That the United States of today is a trustworthy, benevolent country with a respect for liberty. What we have in reality is a wolf in sheep's clothing.I have noted over here in Europe that many of the big businesses that were a troublesome bane to me back in the U.S. in their extensive campaign against me also have a presence in Europe (supermarkets, computer supply stores, employment agencies, office supplies, restaurants, etc.) and of course with the U.S. economic controlling interest being the fundamental factor, what these malicious companies do in the U.S., they can just as well do over here. Here are a few of the various avenues whereby they can engage in misconduct to injure and restrict liberties outside the U.S.: bookstores, Internet service providers, Info sources, food suppliers, Media, TV, radio station ownership. I have already encountered a pernicious example over here in France with this mega-store they have here known as "FNAC". By the events that occurred I can assume that this one is owned and run by a big U.S. corporation. It was in France where I began to find works of Thomas Mann that I'd never seen in the U.S., essays, journals, and letters whose themes were stridently anti-fascist and were directed for the most part to his countrymen in fascist Germany. In any event subsequent to my finding these works, the FNAC stores began pulling this stuff from their book shelves and it began to have an uncanny effect when I would enter one of these stores to find a big, bare hole on the bookshelf where his works should have been. It was doubly absurd as he was one of those authors who merited a tagging of the shelf with his name. After the big ones were locked down, they began sweeping through the smaller, French owned librairies, buying away his works which I assume they just destroyed once they got them... While these fascists don't burn books, they have a fairly effective alternative. But I must say they're going to have a hard time with the French on this one as they're insatiable readers over here and taking their books is about as provocative as taking away their baguettes.
Globalization is an evil that compromises the sovereignty of free nations and spreads the fascist practices of the U.S. "globally". Already there are vigorous worldwide protests against it, only that they don't know how right they are!
Now I would like to briefly expand on the method previously alluded to, of incrementally killing off victims or adversaries by damaging the quality of the food items they routinely purchase. They basically study the food purchasing habits of the victim, then lean on the food suppliers concerned in their manufacture which they by and large control, to befoul these items and render them unhealthy. So foods that were previously healthy suddenly become saturated with fats, cholesterol, salt, sugar, additives, and the like. After a time it becomes apparent to the victim when he takes a bite of an old standard of his and does a "double-take", getting an unpleasant mouthful of unhealthy trash food. After a time food shopping becomes an unpleasant chore of "dodge the junk", constantly switching from item to item, item after item falling by the wayside. Again it's a tough one to get around as they pretty much got the food suppliers situation locked down. It's a clever one, though logistically difficult to carry out, because it adds a character-smear angle, attributing the death to the victim's own careless eating habits, which is consistent with their usual practice of besmirching the character of their victims, most ideally concurrent with the take out. In any event the situation on that front is much improved over here with the diversity and wide range of foods here in France, it's a little hard to pull off.
The Elements to the Nagging Question:
I couldn't put it down. Something about it was fishy; and all too convenient. (September 2001)
- That this event was foreshadowed in the personal harassment campaign, started in the spring of 2001 of flag-waving patriotism on the local level reaching the absurd point that on bike rides I would encounter picture-windows elaborately decked out with "Christmas lights" fashioned into the American flag filling the picture-window (June 2001, most improbable). This local campaign (neighborhood) later panned out nationally into a reality. And they were mightily pleased with that.
- That they realized benefits from this event:
- Distraction from what was going on here, which today still remains the big story.
- Getting the American people worked up into an angry, indignant, nationalist fervor ready to tear up anything in their path. It is a useful ingredient for a fascist state when nationalism predominates, when the people stop thinking and fall back on ignoble emotions.
- It lets them go to war; ever-widening war.
- It engenders sympathy from our allies who are hard-pressed to oppose our military ventures, even when they expand to matters that have no relevance.
- That they solved the crime at once, immediately knew every detail to it, knew just what happened, who did it, and began swiftly making arrests. How did they figure it out so fast if they didn't already know of it in advance?
- Then that weird anthrax thing which is not an Arab terrorist m.o. but rather their own, introduced, then faded out. They were curiously indifferent to following the threads on that one, and our U.S. health department was curiously disengaged, expressing no great concern about it.
My first theory was that agents of this country in fact did this, but then thought this was too monstrous even for them. I first posted this possibility then withdrew it when I had second thoughts. But something still nagged me about it, foremost that they conveniently benefited by it and exploited it to the hilt. I then settled on the theory that they knew in advance that it was coming in every detail and did nothing to stop it when they calculated how it could be exploited to their aims. (It could be called the malevolent flipside to the Roosevelt-Pearl Harbor theory.) I never forcefully posted this theory, lacking proof, but dropped it with misgivings.
On 5-26-02 I found that proof, exhaustively documented in every detail, in the form of a flyer at an anti-U.S. demonstration at Place de la Bastille in Paris. My gut instincts were correct as seen from my personal perspective in the context of my personal story posted on this site. The individual who compiled this info on the flyer is named Michael Ruppert who has a website out in California which I assume is a restatement of the collection of facts on this flyer. The flyer is basically a compilation of facts taken from this site pieced into a coherent chronology and it appears this info is being distributed worldwide as the author of this flyer had requested; and as such it would not be particularly useful to post the French version on this site. As such I have translated this article into English for internal posting on this site whose title is Terrorist Attack of September 11.
The U.S. government and its agents have all this blood and carnage on their hands. Shame! The great shame of the World!
6-10-02
Again as I write this, the body is sustaining a heavy beating and it will require a good measure of grace under fire to keep you up to date on the situation. I shall first cover the brutal abuse situation and I suppose the best approach for this under these adverse circumstances would be to simply post a collection of unpolished notes over this past week:6-4-02
- Continuing brutal nonlethal infliction of extreme levels of pain to the genitals. Assaults augmented with concurrent thermal (heating) assaults to the genitals. Remains unclear if injury has ensued or if the effect is reversible.- Ear canals at present swollen and tender from unremitting targeting of the ears.
- Continued respite in the sleep dep (whose meaning remains unclear to me), though at times they wake it up in the middle of the night, pound it around for about an hour, then let it fall back into unconsciousness.
6-5-02
The body continues taking a heavy pounding; ears swollen shut, legs / ankles scarred with bloody abrasions, with concurrent onslaught to about a dozen other parts of the body, if continued I anticipate that it will be going down soon.6-7-02
The body remains encircled, being held in a live state, and brutally batted around during its conscious hours. Continuing respite in the sleep dep, the meaning of which remains unclear to me.6-9-02
Resume vicious, brutal cramping torture of calve muscles of the legs. Again there is nothing can be done for it and the current circumstances must yet be patiently borne out, awaiting replies (France and Cuba) to determine if there is yet the capacity to save the self.On that subject, here is a general summary of the asylum request letters to date, mailed from Europe:
Mailed from Brussels
2-21-02 (Belgium, Ministry of Interior)
2-26-02 (Cuba, Embassy in Brussels)
3-1-02 (China, Embassy in Brussels)Mailed from Paris
3-19-02 (France, Ministry of Interior)
3-19-02 (Cuba, Embassy in Paris)
3-19-02 (China, Embassy in Paris)On 5-3-02 there was a follow-up letter addressed to the French Ministry of the Interior notifying them of change of address (hotels). I do not know what their obstruction capabilities are over here in Europe (likely minimal) but I think it would be safe to assume that these letters reached their destination.
Now on to a couple of miscellaneous notes: They had commenced directing Parisian banks with a U.S. controlling interest to cease offering receipts for ATM transactions (at least those clustered around this neighborhood). The ATM's I relied on for a receipt have withdrawn them. While it is not a great concern for most, it creates vulnerabilities for their targets. There is really nothing to do with this one but allow the vulnerability to stand, go bare on this one, and instead create a detailed paper record on my own for each transaction. It is interesting that many of the bank's ATMs do not declare the unavailability of a receipt till after the money is dispensed and the transaction is completed, denying you the option to go elsewhere.
Finally, this website's hosting account expires on 7-10-02 and I of course will be extending the account for another year which will insure that this site at least will live on to see 7-10-03. Of course that host up there on Prince Edward Island got swallowed up shortly after the site moved in and I don't know what kind of mess I'll find with these fools (Exahost or whatever they call themselves these days) when I go to renew. It won't do any good to keep leaping from host to host because they pretty much have the entire Web locked down these days. There really ain't much they can do but glare at it angrily and stew on the sidelines, because the people will know if this site is pulled, it is safe to presume that I 'm dead.
6-19-02
The circumstances with France do not look good. After three months of relatively pleasant circumstances here, it appears that at long last she's going down and French officials are beginning to cooperate with the American government in their nefarious schemes over here. In their long string of conquests she appears to have been one of their toughest challenges but now they can rejoice and add this new feather to their cap. Of course the conduct of these officials is in conflict with the sentiments and traditions of the French people who I continue to esteem and admire. Some day they will rise up and throw these Pétainistes on the heaped ruins of the Bastille where they rightly belong.Here are some of the adversities unfolding in the wake of this new development: After four months of using a secured computer (laptop), there was the first instance of computer hacking on 6-15-02 while I was typing out the September 11 page with damage to settings and programs; they had removed the spell checker and I kept getting those annoying familiar announcements "this file has been changed, do you want to save changes?". You have to say yes even if you made no changes or no saving of the file can be done. And I suppose viewers of the site will be piping in with the old "oh yes I got that too" so it must be normal as if to suggest that it's plausible for programs to spontaneously uninstall components of themselves... The U.S. agents are having a difficult time operating in France, it's taken them a good while to set up over here and it is just now that a few sporadic efforts are coming to my attention. They started the computer interference when the new page on the Attentat was being typed out which they apparently didn't like, guess they don't want the world to see their true face. All you folks over in the U.S. can put your flags away and put an end to your war euphoria; you're being duped and manipulated. It remains unclear how the hacking took place but I can only say it occurred concurrent with the turning of France. Why I'm beginning to feel like Helen of Troy as "the pen that launched a thousand ships". Why little old me?, a little old faggot with his ballpoint pen? Why I'm quite flattered!
(6-17-02) Also getting access to my money is becoming progressively more difficult over here. After an afternoon of long walks spanning both banks of Paris, I initially came up empty-handed. It appears that all the CCF banks where I routinely go have taken their ATMs out of service after encountering three in succession that were "inaccessible". It appears to be a Paris-wide crackdown. I will just have to abandon my usual preference and settle for which ever are enabled and abandon any dependence on being provided with a receipt. I did manage to locate a Crédit Lyonnais that they are allowing to run and was even fortunate to snag a receipt this time. I suppose once the "chase-off" is accomplished, the CCFs will be brought back in service but I'm really not going to be drawn into a cat and mouse game with this one and I'll take whatever I can get. I can only assume that France is cooperating in the money targeting situation as it would be a bit difficult for the U.S. to be acting alone on this one. In any event it is an unfortunate situation and it appears that the honeymoon is over.
Also after a long period of stagnancy, the Euro is going through the roof to the point that it's making headlines over here and which is having a very adverse effect on my limited savings. I assume of course that this is just an unfortunate coincidence and there must be some sort of economic rationale behind it, a subject of which I know little or nothing.
A few miscellaneous notes: On 6-12-02 I mailed payments to Exahost web hosting to renew my web hosting by one year (expires 7-10), basically a one year extension with the same plan and services, as well as a payment (two month extension) to the storage company where my remaining property is stored.
There is no point in rehashing the nonlethal situation which is by and large more of the same except for to add that there has been subsequent mending of the ankle injuries with a few new minor skin injuries added; abraded, burst capillary effect injuries to left hand and left shoulder, and a rather odd (never had before) eruption of skin above groin at base of stomach. Basically minor disfigurements, temporal and reversible, of little consequence.
Also on a personal note, I have been much charmed and amused in my readings of Thomas Mann's Journals whose writing style is so unlike his literary works and I will for amusement post here an entry in the style and manner of his journals, à la Thomas Mann pour ainsi dire:
Saturday 15.VI.02 Paris
(....) -Saw a weatherworn, tan stray French poodle. All soiled, thin, hair disheveled of medium size, he began to accompany me on my walk. Quite a saucy character, he would just walk in sidewalk taverns, look the place over then come running out to catch up to me. Made a good pair. Poodles quite common over here, not a fashion accessory as in U.S. Simply a dog species. This wild street character was my favorite of the group. (....) -Blue sky, nice weather today.
(....)
But getting back to a more serious note I offer this closing assessment of the current situation: Cuba appears to be the last one. If I can get to the point of a medical exam and examination of the evidence offered, then the asylum case is as good as won. But getting to that stage is the hard part.6-26-02 The Kennedy Killings
I would like to cite here a collection of notes concerning my general assessment of the Kennedy killings reflecting back in hindsight and placing the events in their historical context. My most pivotal source for these conclusions can be found in the book "The CIA Files: The Secrets of the Company" Author, Mick Farren and I would recommend that you read this book:
- Kennedy was moving the country to détente, a reasoned state of "peaceful co-existence" with the Soviets while the agents of this country continued their Cold War ways in defiance of this new direction; most notably with the Bay of Pigs fiasco where they tried to compel JFK to be a part of it, and which he had rejected and frankly left them in the lurch which "embarrassed them".
- Kennedy was furious about the Bay of Pigs, admitted it was a mistake, magnanimously took the blame on himself, but privately threatened to take the CIA apart "brick by brick". Those words sealed his fate.
- At that time the CIA was still running MK-ULTRA, apparently illegal, they would be caught and the program stopped.
- The straw-dog gunman was conveniently shot only days later, a most improbable event, drying up the trail to them.
- Oswald was purportedly killed by Jack Ruby for the reason that he loved Kennedy so much and was broken up by his death. If I am not mistaken he was a nightclub owner with underworld ties (mafia) and in view of the fact that the Kennedy's (especially so Robert, his then acting Attorney-General) were incensed by organized crime and were indeed implementing a crackdown on it, I would hardly think he would be that broken up by the death of Kennedy. It is also interesting to note that our CIA has in the past worked with the mafia in their nefarious schemes. I suppose it was a cozy partnership of like-minded people.
- Oddly the blame was attributed to a communist sympathizer as revenge for the Bay of Pigs when the very opposite was the case concerning motive. Kennedy sought to end the antics of the CIA in Cuba and was turning the country away from this hostile confrontation with communism, this Cold War, with détente, the test ban treaties and the like. It is so typical of their methods, turning things to their opposites, accusing the other guy of their vices. This contradiction I suppose was handled by portraying Oswald as a bit on the nutty side.
- They killed his brother too a few years later for the same reasons when he sought election to the presidency. In some respects his brother was a worse threat to them if you consider his conduct as John's Attorney-General. Basically they were both very good, religious, conscientious men who believed in the Constitution and believed in Good with the talents to prevail, both cut from the same cloth. In other words they were a major threat. This is the common thread that links the two killings, the same culprit with an unvarying motive. The gunman's motive in this killing was off the wall and made little sense though no one questioned it.
- For good measure, years later, our tabloid newspapers in the U.S. had a field day trashing the reputation of John F. Kennedy Jr. after his death in that tragic plane crash which reached obscenities I could not bear. It is a typical method of theirs, character assassination and smears, especially so when they are conveniently dead and unable to defend themselves. Their malice for the Kennedy's knows no bounds with that maddening beauty of theirs, and their hate for them still has not finished playing out.
- You get insights into the character of the Kennedy's by their interests; Art, culture, music, museums, they associated with and enjoyed the company of artists and intellectuals (especially so with Jacqueline who expressed it with such childlike enthusiasm). These were virtuous people to their core, antithetical to all that these agencies represented and in stark and refreshing contrast to the ugly climate that pervaded this country before their ascendancy; the Cold War, anticommunist hysteria that reached fever pitch with the ignoble McCarthy Hearings and the doings of the House "Un-American Activities Committee" when the whole country went mad and unceremoniously tossed our Bill of Rights out the window to the curious glee of an approving public. In other words the country was taking a sharp turn in the other direction by a man who had the skills and tact to do it.
The killing of JFK was a tragic turning point in our history whose effects are enormously felt this day, manifest by this country's current agenda of pandemic Fascism whose origins started in these agencies that Kennedy intended to put under control. It was in our history, a shining moment of opportunity, cruelly extinguished, and will never be seen again. A grievous moment for us all.
* This assessment of the Kennedy killings is a recent event in my life arrived at in retrospect. Until now I had always accepted our government's explanation of the "lone gunman" and had little patience for those who cried "conspiracy". We are never too old to learn, to be open, and we should have the humility to admit we were wrong and change our positions when new information come to our attention. I stand chastened and corrected.
6-26-02 The Democracy Argument
I would like to clear the air on this argument we hear time and again sanctimoniously put forth by the United States that we are a democracy working at the express wish of the people, and therefore our people are free and you non-democracies out there are the bad guys. We are fond of beating Cuba over the head with that one: We are a democracy and you are an authoritarian state. I would be more concerned to know if my country was guided by those whose intentions were benevolent or malevolent and not so worked up by how they got there. It does after all make all the difference in the world and would have the biggest impact in terms of my life: Are the people running this place trying to help or hurt people! We must remember that Hitler was elected to office, which doesn't say much for democracy, and I don't think it was a comfort to his victims to know that it was all done "democratically". I have even heard this empty slogan paired with this globalization agenda of theirs, now characterizing it as "the democratic-globalization" as if the two have any connection with each other. I guess they are trying to dress up this ugly expansionism by associating it with a positive and virtuous word and thereby make it more palatable. Well I'm sorry but I sure as hell ain't swallowing it! It still taste pretty bad even with the sugar coating! It was a bit like Hitler when he celebrated his heady rise to power with that all out bash at the Reichstag festooned with banners equating Nazism with liberty! In my whole life I have never seen such a vile, ignoble misuse of that word. Now we got globalization and democracy being paired together and it is just as vile and false.First, let me set you straight here. The United States is not a democracy. It's bullshit! It's a big lie. An illusion. They are nothing but hand-selected puppets whose hand is guided by those who are really running things, guided by this fascist underbelly that lurks beneath. They control which candidates we are "free" to select from and they're both two sides of the same coin. Take the Gary Hart incident for example as stated in Michael Williams' story which was after all the reason he wound up in prison, where you had the Hart vs. this Bush guy whose former connections to them (the CIA) are all too apparent in that he was a former head of the CIA. So what happened here? Well they just plugged and played one of their all too familiar tactics of entrapping Hart with sex, smearing his reputation, and out the race he goes, and in comes the CIA guy. The Bushes have enjoyed their association with the CIA and have been shamelessly reaping the perks: They got his son in office a few years later, one of them is over there running Florida, and the other one is running Texas. Pretty nice pay-off for a gang of thugs! And we had the same situation with Clinton: First groomed as a Southern democratic governor (that one has a nice ring to it, they're the ones we typically vote for these days), he too had nefarious connections with the CIA (see White Out) with that drug-running business in Mena Arkansas. This one was so sleazy he even got impeached for perjury and still held office, an unprecedented event. And it looks like the Clintons are on their way to reaping the perks as well, now that we have Hilary up there in New York (I don't know how that hillbilly got up there in Yankee country) as Senator, shutting genuine New Yorkers out of that seat who can at times be quite troublesome with those "intellectual" views of theirs, ironically replacing Senator Moynihan who was one of the few voices that cried out with indignation at the MK-ULTRA offenses. That's like replacing day with night. And if you think the situation is any better with our representatives you'll think again after you read Senator Feinstein's role in the Williams' affair when she admits she is unable to help Michael because she is "afraid of what the FBI might do to me".
Our elections are manipulated and controlled and we have no say in the candidates put before us. They are hand-selected and groomed and if a good one does happen to slip through he is knocked out in short order by the character assassination squad. And I suppose the trend will spread worldwide with this globalization fever. That's your democracy. It's a big charade! So when I hear "democratic-globalization", I say bunk!
6-27-02
Somewhat fatigued by those two expanded essays that precede, I will confine this entry to a collection of random notes on the circumstances over this past week starting first with the nonlethal situation: --There was an extreme round of brutal beating of the feet which commenced 6-21, played out over the next couple of days, then attenuated. Commencing 6-22 and again running for several days, there was brutal expanded targeting of the genitals to ferociously cruel levels whose effect was crushing torture of the testicles with concurrent inflictions of extreme, racing pain down the penis. I regret that these entries must be so graphic but these things must be accurate and known for posterity. While it is assumed to be an augmented nonlethal effect, a bio assault cannot be ruled out to which the abiding state of celibacy would render implausible. The legs have been sustaining, starting 6-26, a vicious cruel beating with vicious fierce yanking of the calf muscles with such force that it feels they are being yanked from their very bone attachments. The right arm is taking a similar beating whose effects are manifest in the arm bouncing around in a state of spasm. They continue the head assaults that leave the forehead muscles yanked back in contraction with disfiguring consequences to the demeanor. --Again they have been making overtures, through French intermediaries, to the effect that they would retract the assaults and permit me to work again in the U.S. if I retract this website. Again it is an offer I reject as it is not compatible with my character and convictions; I could not live with myself and I would suffocate and it would kill my soul to live in that stifling environment. If they want this site down they're going to have to take it down themselves. --I continue reading the Journals of Thomas Mann whose observations on that era find such resonance with me. You will find so much there that parallels our own unfortunate times, from a wise man who is able to stand above it all and see the grand historical picture. Also I have reread the Tao Te King which is interesting to read when filtered through the French language but whose abiding concepts shine through in any language. It is one of the books that have had a profound influence on my life. --Also it was over a month ago that my Visa stamp expired and I have joined the illustrious ranks of, as the French so poetically put it, les sans papiers who are so numerous in France, and I think I'm in good company.6-30-02 Religion, Artists, and the Intelligentsia: Fascism's Age Old Nemeses
I would like to expand on the age-old categories where Fascism most typically encounters problems with a particular focus on the current circumstances in the U.S. and their methods of dealing with it. To keep this entry brief I will resort to random lists of my observations there starting first with religion and Christianity in particular:
- Oddly the churches in the U.S. are staying away from focus on the life of Christ which I must say is a pretty difficult feat to accomplish, instead teaching ignoble values, many antithetical to Christ's teaching.
- Religious broadcasts on radio and TV giving lectures on such subjects as "How to be a Success" defined as getting wealthy. Also focus on praying for "money, getting your bills paid, fixing and healing assorted health problems". Preoccupation with and valuing the physical, worship of the material, disdain for the spiritual. The opposite of Christianity.
- Martyrdom is mocked these days as foolishness and saving the self is the most valued. Oddly antithetical to the example of Christ.
- That visit to the Pope by Bush was brazen hypocrisy and it brought to mind Hitler's separate peace with the Vatican.
- It appears they are buying out the Media stations and setting the content on them. Much of our TV religion is right-wing whose message is hate and intolerance. I would suggest you reject the churches and broadcasts and read your Bible. You will get the uncorrupt version.
- You might wonder why, each Easter, we are treated to this movie called The Ten Commandments on U.S. television which is one of the few religious movies that is not about Christ and which has no relevance to this holy day. I certainly did, and long before all this started that is stated in these journals. It frustrated me that I could not see all those beautiful movies they made about Jesus Christ. Now I understand. They were pulling Christ out of the picture and tossing this at us that might pass as a suitable, generic replacement. They had to dig pretty hard to find a religious movie that avoided Christ but they managed to pull it off.
- For my part, I'm enjoying the beautiful broadcasts of Radio Vatican here in Europe which is something that has no parallel in the U.S. I suppose it's just a matter of time before it gets swallowed up in this globalization fever and starts spreading the garbage we hear in the U.S.
To you Americans who are misled and don't understand what Christianity is, let me enlighten you. The story of Christ is not just some fairy tale but it means something. He was in fact a dangerous revolutionary and was killed by the State for teaching these things. There is where you will find the meaning of Christianity in Christ himself, the example he set and the life he led. To be a Christian is to pattern your life after Christ's life and follow his example. Otherwise you are not a Christian. It's that simple. It's not about holy water, incense, fancy churches and other such hocus-pocus. It's much simpler: Live your life as Christ did in the real sense. No more. No less.
The irony of course is that I do not consider myself to be a Christian at least not in the strictest sense where I need to be convinced that Christ existed as a historical reality, nor do I accept such concepts as Heaven and Hell, nor do I believe the "miracles" literally but rather were allegories. Christ to me is a divine "morality play", whether taken literally or as a fiction is immaterial as the divine truths it points to still stand. I don't need some "pay-off" like Heaven to accept the teachings of Christ but believe in the Good for its own sake without thought of personal reward. But if you're looking for some pay-off like Heaven and not livin' like Christ did you ain't gonna get it cuz he knows who the phony ones are and you can't play that with him, if that's what's motivating you. And if you're trying to get something else for yourself from it like prayin' for miracles to get your physical ailments fixed up you better forget that too. This old world is going to follow the eternal natural laws of physics, illness will pursue its natural path, so don't be expectin' hocus-pocus miracles to change it. We must be wise enough and mature enough to accept this. Christianity is not about "getting something", it's about giving; it's about sacrifice.
My beliefs are Eastern, though unlike the defensive Christians, they fully embrace and admire the Christ story making it a component and part of their own beliefs. In this way there is no contradiction in my equal embrace of both Christianity and the Eastern religions, since when you get down to it we all worship the same God told in many different ways. We look everywhere for God when we ourselves are God projecting ourselves outward. And that God goes by another name which is called "Love". The Eastern's know this.
State of the Intellectual and Artist Classes in the U.S.
- Recent visits to the university I attended were an unsettling experience to me. Once an all Liberal Arts school it has been practically transformed into a glorified "trade school" where people learn technical skills to get a good job and make lots of money. The only thing I recognized there was the buildings as the climate has completely changed. I hope this trend is not occurring on a national level where the Arts are being pushed back and discouraged, and money making technical training is replacing it. The founders of that school would be mortified.
- That manifesto signed by a long list of so-called "American Intellectuals" which came to the attention of the European community, where the signators unanimously supported the war in Afghanistan and the current policies of the U.S. government in that vein and which was greeted by the main newspaper in Brussels with a good measure of scorn and skepticism. Many on this list are far from intellectuals, I know this firsthand, some head right-wing organizations (right-wing and intellectual is almost an oxymoron). They're stupid and have no credentials. So they all march in lockstep these days signing manifestos in support of the U.S. government and war in particular which is so contrary to their typical pacifist views? Give me a break! Where did they get these prostitutes and clowns? Send in the real intellectuals who think individually, that are not all of one mind, the free thinkers, the dissidents. Don't we have dissidents anymore? Why isn't that a sweet and peaceful place where no one differs and everybody thinks the same.
- Public TV or so-called "educational television" in the U.S. is taking a sharp away from intelligence and the Arts. The Arts have just about disappeared and what's replacing it is enough to make your skin crawl: Documentaries with a military theme, one of them on the history of military weapons going back to the catapult and culminating in the technicalities of our modern guided missiles. All quite glowing. --Self-help lectures on "How to Get Rich", one of them with the absurd title, "The Courage to be Rich". I guess that would make Christ a coward these days. Lectures (are these the new intellectuals these days?) on How to Stay Healthy and take care of your health and your body and assorted health tips. And even a rather graphic one, absurdly out of place on PBS, on "How to Have Good Sex"!
We see here the glorification of military power, a total focus on and placing a high value on the physical, material, and disdain for Art and the spiritual. I should add though that this audience is not so easy to manipulate as they are sensitive, observant, and discerning. What is offered here is just a sample of the observations on the situation in the U.S. as the full range is too numerous to cite here.
- Media defaming teachers, and the teaching profession.
You'll know what they're doing by the outcome. There will be no dissent, no Art, no Literature, no morality, etc. They can't hide the apparent outcome, which will be unrealistic. Fascists typically have problems with religion (Christianity) and these particular classes of people (Artists, Intellectuals) and this new breed we have here is no different, and it appears they are making inroads. They're dealing with it in their own way; covertly, incrementally, and with the silent, deadly, stealth of a snake slithering through the grass. Wake up. Look.
6-30-02
Erasure of portions of my work on my short story while working on the computer yesterday. I will piece back together the erased parts and do it again. It is very important to me. It appears to infuriate them.* As it turned out I did manage to finish this story, at least a fundamental version. I started out in all seriousness charting it all out but I could not resist being playful, it completely strayed from its premise, and it quickly descended into hopeless silliness running off in two directions where it goes off on a tangent of spoofing Catholics. It's not complete as I still have to add the "eclipse experience" so you will find editorial notes still present. For what it's worth I offer this story to amuse you. To those who know me I suppose I wouldn't have had to even sign it because they would know "ya' that's him". Don't expect War and Peace as it's more like Beavis and Butthead Go Cosmic. I suppose I only post this story to show you I have a lighter, more playful side and perhaps to give us all a little comic relief from all this grimness.
6-30-02
Disablement, near shutdown of laptop's ability to recharge itself, likely done through software settings. Interference while plugged in (cursor, etc.). Access to settings typically greeted with "access denied". Heavy targeting mouth, throat, chest, ears, legs, feet, arm, genitals, neck, stomach, ferocious blasts of pain down neck, brutal blasts of pain down arms, with over all effect of extreme levels of pain afflicting bulk of body.7-1-02
Brutal pounding of throat, mouth, genitals, neck, legs, arm, feet, head, hands, ears, lungs, skin, running nose effect, vicious cramping of toes, with possible re-intro of chemo's and bio's.7-2-02
Preparing final proofread of Journal 11 before posting new journal and the September 11 article on the site. Commence draconian heart targeting. I shall proceed to get the new pages on the site without regard to the consequences.The body continues taking a draconian beating with brutal targeting of throat with high levels of irritation, coughing, gagging, right arm, neck, skin, genitals (testicles, penis), poking sharp pains to fingers, running of nose, heating of genitals, freeze effects, feet, right arm, numbing of mouth effect, heating of head with ears red and chafed, brutal pounding of leg, mouth, ears, tissues of throat, eyes.
7-3-02
Body continues taking a brutal beating, stomach, feet, mouth, brutal yankings of calf muscles, arm, heart, respiratory swellings, skin, eyes, genitals (pain and heating), running of nose effect, peppering injuries to right leg, throat, ears with bony swellings, nerves of throat with gagging, brutal stabbings to left side of neck, flash heatings of the head, fiery pokings of facial nerves, renewed disfigurement of eyes effect (reversible), draconian stabbing pains to left shoulder.7-4-02
Body continues taking a ferocious pounding with draconian targeting of legs, heart, running of nose, arm, stabbings of shoulder, infliction eye pain, genitals (heating, pain), chest, hand, throat, feet, head, forehead, brutal flashes of pain to head, ears (canals swollen), heating of head with ears red and chafed, respiratory swelling, continued disfiguring effect to right eye, nerves to throat, brutal slams of pain to right side of neck.7-5-02
Awoke to brutal acoustic assault to the neck with resultant great pain, left arm hanging limply, weak and in high pain. Brutal pounding of left shoulder, freeze assaults to feet, heart, genitals, ears, left arm, eyes, ferocious painful yankings of calf muscles, running of nose, body shaking from ordnance load. Nerves of throat, numbing of mouth, shocks pain to mouth, state of limping from leg assaults, assault injury to rectal tissues, blurring vision effect, dental, assaults to forehead, flooding stomach gastric acids, shocks pain coursing up neck and head, genitals (heating-pain), chest (acoustic pain).7-6-02
Brutal multi-level targeting neck with inflictions extreme pain and ferocious scorching burn pain to left side of neck, freeze right arm, freeze to feet, running nose, draconian stabbing pains to left shoulder, ears (swollen), heart, freeze right hand, vicious agonizing yanking of calf muscles, inflictions ferocious pain mouth-lips, pummeling infliction pain to feet, dental, eyes, genitals legs, fiery pain legs, brutal engulfment of right arm in pain. At times the body is braced to let out an enormous sigh and fold under into the merciful release of death. I do not know the physiology of death but see this sigh figures into it. I don't know. Attended mass at Basilique du Sacré Coeur.7-7-02
Continued robust daylong beating. Ripping yanks to calf muscles, head, forehead, heart, peppering of legs, nerves to throat, left shoulder, running nose, right arm, right hand, genitals, ears, chest, feet, neck, eyes, inflictions nausea, body shaking.7-9-02
Continued daylong vociferous pounding of the body. Brutal inflictions extreme headache, ferocious brutal pain left shoulder, running nose, unremitting slamming of neck with neck listing left and locked, feet, right arm, ripping yanks to calf muscles, scorch pain across left neck, digging at eyes, brutal sharp pains down penis, acid release to stomach, hand, face swollen, heart, skin, pain to stomach and side, injury rectal tissues, shocks pain to mouth-lips, burn pain to skin effect, brutal crushing testicle effect, heat to genitals, body shaking from ordnance, chest-lungs with possible bio re-intro, compromised breathing, numbness mouth, ear canals swollen, nerves to throat, head taking furious multi-level pummeling with headache, heating of head, blood-stained pillowcase.
* I have, throughout these journals, attempted to look down on the torture of the body with objective detachment. It is difficult to dissociate oneself from the body and look down on its torture with placid detachment, and the earliest entries which are imbued with emotion suggest that I did not, then, have this approach fully mastered. It was a difficult feat of self-discipline, but I had a job to do which was to provide a full, measured, and objective accounting of atrocities and it was my intent to suppress these baser instincts in the interest of furthering this noble goal. There must, for posterity, be a written record of what has occurred here, and I am the only person who can tell it. While I look down with detachment on the torture of the body, I will, by the same token, take no steps to intervene on its behalf. I will allow the injuries to stand unaddressed, and take no steps to undo the damage they inflict. It is an approach that has kinship with the "passive resistance" movement.