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How to humiliate, and degrade the humble.

First off I have been on this quest for two years now I have been victimized very bad I recently started to read others accounts and some of them sounded pretty far fetched kinda crazy like it was just a parinoid person, who didnt know what they were talking about, and some were funny but in actuality they weren't funny at all nor do I think they were nuts at all. I too seemed to have all the same freaked out things to say, and they used every dirty little sick thing they could think of, mind altering drugs, told how to think , how I should act, and even feel.

They played heaviliy on my dreams hopes, likes, dislikes and seemed to always deny they knew anything. I seemed to be a science project for the amusment of others.

I knew who was doing it but couldnt prove it at first .it was kinda like I was luke skywalker, against the evil empire, my therory on it was I was an easy victim for their sickness, I was isolated I had no friends and absolutley no family to help me so their conspiracy was hard to prove, I spent 9 months being tortured, I went to hospital after hospital apparently scared for my life often dilutional, nobody belived me they thought I was 5150 I even seen things drawn on my skin and others but again it was denied. Doctors couldn't see it nobody believed me so I went on a quest to prove these sickos wrong it took a year to find this answer, they used silver nitrate, it is a stain used in many fields, none of which I have ever had access to I went to great lenghts to find out, I did seems light is measured in what they term nanometers well what we percive that we see may not be what we really see the earth and all that is in it is moving constantly and things are moving all around us we just cant see with the naked eye, but with the camera as a medium and change shall I term force fields you can see differntly. Anyway, what they had denied was now visible names, funny pictures drawn on my skin, therefore I have know discredited doctors and shrinks , and those who denied it.

I fought mental torture for almost as long. traumitized by many through intimidation, belittlement, and threatened and always put back on me when I was doing nothing wrong but meant to feel that I did, this was on the part of the cult to make me confused and feel irrational and deny and discredit anything I said.they would make me think things did or did not actually happen to play on my fears since as they claimed they could read my mind I got so bad they had me convinced that we had died, thats crazy. I was always followed like a gerbal on a wheel and I never knew why this was happening the town was in california they made a fight club type senrio no body knew nuthin especially me.

But I did the more I researched the more I believed the government was involed the corrupt ones, most are I think {when I can }seemed didn't matter where I was they seemed to know where I was I didn't know how. Well, I researched more I have recently found two small lumps under my skin oddly one is in the front of my neck the other is on the back of my scalp they are little smaller than a grain of rice again in disbilief I thought maybe I was just a parinoid schezo as what they termed me.

I went through eight drugs to finally be able to kinda think clearly. The more they covered up the more I found, you see in my therory I didn't even exist in the town I was not on any leases or even a actual person like I had disapeared from the planet something wasn't right I thought it was me but in their realm it was them they were all fake names were altered and changed days were lost times on clocks changed to make me think and respond to different situations and events that did or did not happen I had no ids or residence it was taken in therory again someone was to become me, it was perfect in every way , I could discuss all the sick things done but I don't want this to sound like im whining only stating that this can and does happen .

They were manipulating me in every way they could and daily, even to the point of trying to enrage me by any way possible but they couldn't. So they had to imply more things that again didn't happen to entrap my body and mind. They had all the high tech shit the government could make.

I knew to much but who could I say anything to who would belive me and for every negitive thing they did GOD, well mine anyway gave me an answer they just weren't aware of it cause they did not belive it. Seemed I would see things but wasn't sure if I was seeing it or I wasn't again silver nitrate could have been used psycological warfare and even military tactics, I was induced to try to get me to kill myself, they just couldnt break me they tried very very hard, I was sparred.

Somehow I think because I know to much but on the same note don't really want to care, I altered a well scripted book, no body has ever, I repeat never done this, there is a reason, you shouldn't try to play mockerys of Christ. They know what I'm talking about.

I have and would like to think of myself as a humble person, that's how I was made it is who I am , but others thought it would be ok to make me be what they wanted me to be. I let them be themselves, it is my right to have my own choices and decision making proccess, that I wasn't allowed to do for two years.

I was led to belive things that were just not feasable on my part to do but by conditioning my mind that is what they wanted me to belive. So deeply inplanted I did believe all that was said to me because that's was what they wanted complete control and power, and I question why would anyone find it funny to pick on the little guy to feed their huge egos and arrogant behavior. I was even told it was a conspiriacy and laughed at, everything happens for a reason, I smell greed, deception,and quite frankly a whole lot more.

Received 12-24-2003